Wedding

Your Wedding Has to Be So Much More than "Pretty"

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Your "Wedding Flowers" Pinterest board has 237 pins, not to mention your "Cakes" board with 58 pins, "Dress" board with 76 pins, and the 8 other boards all dedicated to the various aspects of planning your wedding day. All in all there are probably 500-600 pins to plan your wedding. You've been to four wedding expos and lug around an extensive three ring binder that specifically designed for planning weddings.  You've met with photographers, florists, DJs, bakers, wedding planners, rental companies, venue coordinators and a few other wedding vendors. Your coffee table is a stack of at least ten wedding planning magazines full of dog-eared pages. Planning a pretty wedding is a LOT of work. I can relate. You want your wedding to be pretty, so pretty that it is remarkable, which is an easily defined word because it means that you want people to remark, to each other, on the prettiness of your wedding.

But I'm proposing to you that your wedding can be pretty and so much more than pretty. Not that pretty is bad, pretty is not bad in any way, pretty is good. Your wedding should be pretty. The problem is that pretty is so - I don't know - inadequate. Pretty is an inadequate word and goal because it just doesn't stand up to the grandeur of the significance of this day!

La Sagrada Familia

La Sagrada Familia

Imagine you're standing in front of the Sagrada Familia in Spain or a sunrise of Lake Superior on the North Shore and you were to say, "This is pretty." Would the description feel inadequate? Does their grandeur demand more? 

Imagine you're standing in front of one of the most life changing events in your life - like your wedding - does that demand to be more than pretty?

North Shore Sunrise

North Shore Sunrise

But what is more than pretty? Real is more than pretty because real is Beautiful, real is full of history and tradition and meaning, but sometimes the real is too sublime for us to notice so we need to coax it into our consciousness through gestures. What are gestures?  Your dress is a gesture, your cake is a gesture, your centerpieces, your venue, your flowers.  All of these things that we try to make pretty are gestures that can also be beautiful.

Here are a few examples.

My wife and I are Catholic and her bouquet had a rose rosary in it that my mother (who passed away when I was four years old) carried in her wedding along with most of my sisters. The first criterion was the connection with my mother (Beauty) , but we were still concerned with the roses being free from wilting and that they be pretty.  How much more adequate to the grandeur of the event is this bouquet than one we copied from a dog eared page in a magazine simply because it was pretty.

Last summer I photographed a Jewish wedding at Bug's Bee Hive Resort and the chuppa was made by the bride's father. Considering the significant symbolism the chuppa plays, this gesture is tremendously beautiful and they were still concerned, however, that it look pretty.  Beautiful and pretty aren't opposed, but beautiful is so much than pretty. It's personal meaning, personal significance.

One final example. During their courtship one couple made it a point to photograph themselves next to those gaudi landmark statues that many cities have such as the Paul Bunyan in Bemidji or the giant piece of corn on the cob in Olivia, the World's Corn Capital. They had at least 40 different locations photographed and they used these as centerpieces for their guests to enjoy during the reception. Revealing this fun aspect of their courtship was inviting their guests into an important part of their history. It was communicating a personally significant part of their relationship's history.

Pretty is not "bad", pretty is good but your wedding can be so much more than good, it can be great and beautiful.

So far we've discussed the various gestures that make up the wedding day: the dress, the flowers, the reception, etc. Next, estimate the number of hours you invested in planning your wedding day and compare that to how many hours you've invested in preparing to be married.

There are so many great resources to help marriages that I'm not going to pretend to be able to give you a list, but an upcoming post will talk about this aspect and I'll give you some resources that my wife and I have found very helpful in our eight years of marriage.

I love talking through couple's wedding days and discussing all of their wedding day details. For me, this is a critical aspect of my work as a photographer, discovering the meaning behind all of the gestures I'm witnessing on my clients wedding days and not only capturing them as an aid to their future memory but even highlighting the significance of these gestures through the art of photography.

Until my next post, happy planning!

 

George + Kathy | Oliver Acre's Bed and Breakfast Wedding in Pequot Lakes, MN

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The lights twinkle on the Christmas tree while the fire dances in the fireplace. Silent Night is sung fully yet sweetly acapella style by a beautiful soprano in a striking black dress. Close family and friends fill the couches and chairs in the candle-lit living room of the Oliver Acreage Estate as George and Kathy hold hands and lean against each other listening to George's daughter serenade them for their wedding ceremony. 

Just moments later the pastor announces the they are now man and wife and their mutual joy wells forth! George kisses his wife, really kisses his wife, and the pastor remarks, "Well done!" causing them to break out in joyful laughter...

Here's this moment, one of my favorite moments from their wedding.

OliverAcresWinterWedding.jpg

Chris + Jenny | Minnesota Outdoor Lakeside Wedding at Lake Benton

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I met Chris and Jenny at the Brainerd Wedding Association's "Unveiling" wedding expo only to find out that their wedding was going to take place on Lake Benton, one of my old fishing hot-spots back when I was growing up.  In fact it was the lake that my wife (girlfriend at the time) caught her first walleye!  I used to drive to school in my 1986 Jeep Grand Wagoneer (I loved that truck. Think of the Jeep in The Great Outdoors) with my 16' fishing boat on the back.  I'd call my mom during band class, which was first period, and ask if I could get out at lunch to go fishing.  My great friend Mike would do the same and we'd take off right from school to Lake Cottonwood or Lake Benton!

Jenny and Chris's wedding was full of charm, fun, laughs, yard games, pontoon rides, a rope swing and lots of photobombs!  It was terrific!

 

Jason + Whitney | Breezy Point's Antler's Pavilion Wedding and White Birch Room Reception

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The rain held off, the sun poked through once in a while, the wedding party was fun and enthusiastic and the couple was in love.  It was a gift to be able to witness Jason and Whitney's wedding at Antler's Pavilion at Breezy Point Resort's Whitebirch Golf Course. 

Then, Lissa from King Garden's in Longville, MN did an AMAZING job with the decor at the Whitebirch Room at Breezy Point Resort for the reception... amazing!  To top off the night, the band October Road was incredible.  If country music is your thing you need to check out this group.

 

Justin + Kristen | Gull Lake Wedding and Cragun's Resort Celebration

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Justin and Kristen's classic lakeside wedding was held on Lake Margaret which connects to the Gull Lake Chain of Lakes just south of Nisswa.  The day started with Kristen getting ready at the family cabin, followed by the ceremony on the shore of Lake Margaret, then the wedding party took the pontoon the length of Gull Lake to finish their wedding day at Cragun's Resort on the south shore of Gull Lake. 

 Dyana at Petals and Bean in Nisswa rocked the floral and Diane's staff at Cragun's were tremendous hosts.  

 

Jake + Shelby | Pelican Lake Wedding and Breezy Point Resort Celebration

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Jake and Shelby's wedding was fun and beautiful! Starting at Breezy Point Resort with the Shelby and the ladies getting ready, then the ceremony and champagne toast at a family cabin across Pelican Lake, then back to Breezy Point Resort for the celebration, it was a day filled with smiles, tears, hugs and lots of love. 
 
Breezy Point did an amazing job with the White Birch Room and Kate from Bloom Designs along with Gwen from The Hearth Room rocked the decor.  Tim Mahoney sounded amazing playing for the ceremony and cocktail hour.

It was a spectacular day with everything from notes sealed with a kiss to the breezy blowing off of Pelican Lake to an image of over 60 wrestlers that either wrestled in the state meet or wrestled in college. It was an awesome day.

Reed + Bailey | Crosslake Minnesota Outdoor Lake Wedding on the Whitefish Chain of Lakes

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Reed and Bailey's Manhattan Beach Lodge wedding was spectacular and simple at the same time. Bailey's dress was amazing and the tuxes they chose for the gentlemen complimented the venue and feel for the wedding day perfectly. All of the ladies looked stunning and everything else, from Reed's flow to the flowers from Celebration's Floral Design, complimented the day and the feel of a relaxed yet elegant Northern Minnesota lakeside wedding.

As always Manhattan Beach Lodge's food was the best around and the staff (especially Crystal) knocked it out of the park.

 

Reed and Bailey... congrats! 

Jake + Katie | Breezy Point Resort Summer Wedding

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The wedding planners and staff at Breezy Point Resort are expert's at hosting weddings. Experts!  To top the excellent service and atmosphere of Breezy Point Resort, Jake and Katie's wedding day was the very first day that really felt like summer in 2013.

Also, I can't forget to mention the lovely flowers and decor from Donna at Celebrations Floral Design.

 

Dan + Jenni | Madden's Resort Wedding in Brainerd

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Madden's Resort on Gull Lake is a hidden gem wedding venue in the Brainerd Lakes Area.  Madden's is an expansive and beautiful resort on the Gull Lake chain just north of Brainerd that doesn't really "pursue" weddings, but does an amazing job hosting them.   Their new wedding coordinator, Meredith, is spectacular and attentive.  If you're looking to host a Minnesota destination wedding, be sure to stop at Madden's for a look.

Dan and Jenni's wedding was intimate, personal and peaceful. Rain moved the ceremony from the beach inside and Madden's handled the change beautifully as did Jenni and Dan.